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Saturday, October 4, 2008
about:
author:Laura Lala Lumpyhead
its HCL exam on monday.
i think i'm gonna flunk.
i never was any good at HCL.
no matter how hard i tried.
there are a million of words i dont know the meaning to,
sentence structures i keep getting mixed up,
and han yu pin yin i keep reading wrongly.
being completely foreign is hard.
i know thiri is foreign too, being burmese and all, but she's better at chinese. i think its coz her dad can speak.
i was raised in a completely english environment.
my parents talked to me in english, and sometimes in tagalog, coz... we're a filipino family.
when i was growing up nobody ever taught me chinese. because, quite frankly, they dont know how.
i used to feel so alone. like, i'm the only one without chinese-speaking parents, the only one taking chinese who is so... alien to the language.
i remember wat a friend told me on the train. listen to chinese music! talk to your family in chinese! watch chinese shows! teach your parents!
i liked that someone else supported me, but i never seemed to have the motivation to carry on.
i didnt have a tuition teacher, and i didnt want to burden my family with the money it costs to get one either. we're not that rich anyway. we dont even own a car.
i couldnt talk to my parents in chinese, they wouldnt understand. i could, of course, but they would sit there looking blank. they couldnt reply.
plus, they think i'm really good at chinese, after that miraculous A during PSLE, which i got by chance. now, i'm responsible for helping my little sister too.
its kind of hard concentrating when i've got other subjects i'm bad at, and my sister to help, and nobody at home who can teach me how to speak chinese properly.
i should have asked for help earlier.
cant believe i was so stupid.
could have asked zhenglaoshi, she was always there to help.
but i had to focus on other things.
i so wanted to turn my grades around during secondary school.
i guess i gotta really go for it now.
i have 2 days left.
oh well.
maybe if it doesnt work out this year i'll ask for help the moment i pass into next year.
i was even worried i would fail, get a low GPA, and have to stay back in year 1.
i promised my parents i would do well.
i must try.
believe in god. just had class. in church. the teacher kept stressing: nothing is impossible with God. saw that on a friend's blog too. guess its time i start believing in it.
OH MY GOSH. that was the most serious chunk of stuff i have ever typed. except for the emo stuff. i know many ppl may think "i'm worse off than her, wat right does she have to say these stuff?" maybe.
just saying my feelings. its been bothering me ever since... i dont know really.
IN THE MEANTIME...
chingying is in love with the eggsong.
not surprising. she said its traumatising. well, its kinda catchy. :D
oh well. i'm gonna start reading the twilight saga right after exams.
too much influence from the people around me...
-_- apparently quite a few ppl in 1L read the books too.
found that out quite a long time ago.
oh well. managed to get the PDF~!
so... its a green light for me to start reading em.
:DD
FINALLY. i'll know what the people are talking about.
and who the heck edwardcullen is.
-_- i remember him being mentioned at the start of the year.
one of the guys thought it was edward CUTLET.
-_- orientation~! <3
YAY.
i feel high now.
not so sad anymore.
there is hope to pass if i study~!
so i gotta study.
BYE!
Signing off, [lol i was gonna type OGG]
Laura :DD