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Friday, August 22, 2008
about: author:Laura Lala Lumpyhead
HAPPY BIRTHDAY WEITING [i WILL tell on monday :D
ok. so i think this means the argument's cleared up. is it? i deleted the previous post earlier coz ... yeah. i'm kinda glad its over, no more fighting, no more flaming... i think. YES, no more flaming. I WILL MAKE A DIE-DIE PROMISE TO NOT FLAME ANYMORE. YEYYY. ok.
... WHY??? WHY DID I HAVE TO GO ON AND BREAK MY PROMISE TO NOT EMO?
firstly, due to the argument[which i will not talk about anymore after this, the past is behind and it'll STAY there], and some paranoid-ness, i didnt talk to any of the friends that i loved so much. everytime i look for someone to talk to. i cant find anyone. maybe perhaps my nicenice groupmates. [one of which started the whole egg song disease. -ahem-] i'd just sit alone, because i dont want to butt into relationships i'm not meant to have. maybe i was meant to be lonely all along. i know earlier i posted about "not having any friends", that time, i was so desperate i snatched people away, tried to find people to talk to, to fill the emptyness. now, i just dont know what to do.
secondly, sometimes i feel that now is so different from around the start of the year, where we were all laughing, socializing, all friends with each other. I'd be so happy everyday, i'd tell ppl i actually LOOK FORWARD to coming to sch. but then, i dont know what happened, but ppl started to get pissed easily, arguments often broke out, and i realized maybe it couldnt be the same anymore. i dont know what to do anymore... i think i should go for counseling. i really dont know.
i like being at home, surrounded by people who LOVE me, having dreams of the retarded times we had together, just, slacking and listening to music. i'm always thinking, why am i so socially retarded? why dont i have a best friend i can stay with for a long time? why cant i just hold down a friendship? why isnt anyone talking to me? it's emotional turmoil. i feel like screaming, like breaking down and crying all day, isolating myself forever, and giving up my attempts.
someone out there? anyone who knows what i should do. i dont want to stay this way forever. where did the happy times go? what do i do? maybe this whole thing is illogical. maybe i'm wrong again, maybe i'm actually missing all the happy times. if i am, someone please do me a favor and correct me. I could just scream.
-- EMO PORTION OVER --
... i dont know how to feel anymore. i need chocolate, anything that'll make me hyper, anything that'll improve my mood right now. listening to nice nice band music. maybe that'll help, maybe i need to talk to iris, or SOMEONE that'll help me. maybe i need to be reassured, maybe i'll just go for counseling. AHHHHH.
ok... band was ok. got training for ___________. haha. weiting was talking about her bday. i was like: "IS IT YOUR BIRTHDAY OR NOT???" she kept confirming and denying. haiz. so it is her birthday. duh. wanted to tell jingjie its her bday so whole y1 squad can sing her bday song. then there was no fall in at the end of band. SO.... CANNOT TELL. HAIZ... so monday we'll tell. me and yanting. a belated thingy. HAHAHAHAHA.
everyone around me is emo-ing. WHYYYYY??? IS IT SOME KIND OF DISEASE? I NEED TO GET HIGH. I NEED TO GO BACK TO TAO NAN. I NEED TO BE HIGHHHH. SHIRONA HELP MEEEEEEEEEE. IRIS HELP MEEEEE.
oh well. dont feel like posting anymore. i'll just... blog-hop. HOPEFULLY i can find a non emo post to laugh at. -_- BYE.
Laura "Lala Lumpyhead" Raquepo
Who Will I Be
Her name is Laura Ysetta Mendoza Raquepo[go on. pronounce it]
SHE studies in DUNMAN HIGH SCHOOL ThebestestschoolEVER.
SHE's in ONE-LYSTRA.
HER CCA is SYMPHONIC BAND|trombone
SHE loves chocolate and is a complete RETARD. yay.
REMEMBER 3 DECEMBER.
WISHLIST!!!
[X]Jonas Brothers Jonas Brothers Album [YESSSSSS]
[]Jonas Brothers A Little Bit Longer Album [17.50!!!]
[]Go to a JB concert [-sigh-]
[]My own tablet PC [i've only got the school's... D:]
[]An iPhone [i can dream, cant i?]
[]Reasonable Grades 2008, 2009
[halfway there]Learn to play the Guitar [:DD]
[X]An electric guitar [YEAH. Asking my uncle for HIS. :DDDDD]
[]Learn to play the ELECTRIC guitar. [:DDD]
JONAS BROTHERS ROCK MY WORLD.
THE EGG SONG. THE EGG SONG IS LOVE.
TAGGYBOARD
(visit other blog for tagboard. THANK YOU FOR YOUR COOPERATION)